Contrary to the popular misconception, singleness is one of life’s most beautiful seasons. And just like any other season, singleness has a purpose to fulfill in one’s life.
Unfortunately, not everyone comes out of singleness having fulfilled its purpose because most people don’t really know what to focus on while they are single. An average person today doesn’t love being single. Everyone is rushing towards getting love and finding their significant other that they don’t take time to savor being alone. And believe me, being single needs to be savored. It comes with a lot of opportunities for personal growth.
So for today’s post, I would like to share with you five areas in your life that you need to focus on in your singleness so that being single actually benefits you.
5 areas to focus on in your singleness
1. Discover yourself
Who said just because you are single you shouldn’t date?
I don’t mean dating other people, I mean dating yourself. Before you trip, let me explain…
Basically dating is the process of getting to know another person. Knowing their likes, their dislikes, their hobbies, what they value in others, what they cannot tolerate, their favorite color etc.
The more you get to know someone, the more you realize just how wonderful and unique their set of strengths and weaknesses make them. And the more you want to spend time with them. The more you want the best for them. The more you know what opportunities are perfect for them and what opportunities aren’t. The more you love them.
Now imagine being this in love with yourself? No longer will you suffer from low self-esteem, self-hatred and less likely you are to stay in a relationship that is harmful to you.
That is why instead of rushing towards dating someone, date yourself first. Discover who you are, just so that you can be capable of making decisions that are good for You.
2. Discover your purpose
Who am I?
Why am I here?
These are some of life’s most important questions.
The truth is God had a reason for creating you. I love listening to Dr. Myles Munroe and he used to say that God never does nothing just for the sake of doing it. Everything God does is for a purpose. And I agree with him. I believe that the fact that God took His time to create you means that He has a purpose which He would like to achieve through your life.
So what it is?
Why are you here?
Purpose though existing even before we are born often times remains hidden to us until we make a deliberate effort to discover it.
When single, invest your time into discovering what your purpose is because your purpose is the only thing that will bring you fulfillment in life.
Discovering your purpose is key to living a life that’s worth it.
3. Grow intimate with God
A relationship with God is just like any other relationship we have with people– spending time with Him makes the relationship stronger. I have come to discover through life that God is a relationship God, He loves to be intimate with us.
Being intimate with God means that a deep part of you is having a relationship with the deep part of God. Of course, we cannot fathom the deepest part of God but he comes down to our level and reveals a part of Himself that only the Christian can enjoy.
The word intimacy entails a relationship with someone where you are vulnerable, loving, trusting. So being in an intimate relationship with God means you are vulnerable to God, you trust Him and you know just how much loved you are by Him.
I can’t fully exhaust just how wonderful it is to reach this level in our relationship with God.
Also, being intimate with God isn’t something that just happens on its own. It’s something that you need to pursue by spending time in the word, time in prayer, time with fellow believers etc.
And what perfect time to do this than now when you are single… and probably have time on your hand.
4. Learn how to manage your finance
I, sometimes, love to attend bridal showers. And I have discovered that one of the thing that keep propping up in every bridal shower as a common challenge for married couples is the issue of managing finances. The truth is, most people don’t know how to manage their finances. And this causes a lot of chaos in relationship.
As part of being an adult, responsibilities are inevitable. And half the time these responsibilities will require your finances. Bills and rent to pay, fuel for the car, groceries, tithe, and many others. Even school fees sometimes. And it requires you to be disciplined and money intelligent if you are to fulfill these responsibilities month after month without being kicked out of your home because you couldn’t pay the rent in time or without having to skip tithe because you just have a lot of things needing your little money. You need to be money literate.
And I believe when you are still single in the perfect time to invest in money knowledge so that you do not run a chance of bringing chaos to your future relationship because you are incapable of making sound money decisions.
5. Learn how to develop healthy relationship
Healthy relationships/friendships are relationships/friendships where both parties feel supported and connected but still independent. In a healthy relationship, each person is able to openly speak up, to be honest realizing that the other person will respect and support them.
People stay longer in friendships/relationships where they feel supported to shine brighter. In relationships where they don’t carry the weight of making the other person happy, where they feel valued, and where the friendship is balanced.
But healthy relationships aren’t automatic. In order to develop them, one needs to learn the art of communicating with different types of people, the art of setting boundaries and respecting other people’s boundaries.
And I find the time that you are single the perfect time to do this because singlehood is the foundation for any future relationship you might think of having.
I believe if you focus on these five things in your singleness, you will be able to make the most from this season. No longer will singleness be a season for waiting for you, it is going to be a season for becoming. Becoming a brighter, stronger and lovelier version of yourself. And anyone who gets to date you in the future will be lucky because they will be dating a gem.